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Reboot no more: the overused characters who should be retired

Charmaine Blake

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The release of Amazons Jack Ryan marks the fifth time the character has been brought to the screen, one of many who need to be swiftly retired

“Advance word is that John Krasinskis new Jack Ryan series isnt very good, but that isnt news. Chris Pines 2014 Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit also fell short by being too anonymous. Ben Affleck was too preening as Ryan in 2002s The Sum of All Fears. Harrison Fords Ryan in 1992s Patriot Games and 1994s Clear and Present Danger was too generically gruff. Even when played by Alec Baldwin in 1990s The Hunt For Red October, Ryan ended up as second fiddle to Sean Connery.

In fact, you know what? No. None of those Ryan actors did a good job, and none of those films were particularly enjoyable, because Ryan is such a immensely bland character. If Harrison Ford cant make him work, for crying out loud, then the guy from The Office is really going to struggle. Hollywood has had too many goes at Ryan, and all of them have been duds. Its time to put Ryan to bed. And while Im at it, here are a bunch of other overdone characters who should also be forcibly retired.

Robin Hood

Taron
Taron Egerton in Robin Hood. Photograph: Lionsgate

Since 1908s silent Robin Hood and his Merry Men, Robin Hood has been the subject of over 70 films and TV shows. Hes been in swashbucklers. Hes been in revisionist romantic dramas. Hes been in childrens TV shows. Hes been a fox in a cartoon. There was Prince of Thieves. There was Men in Tights. There was The Zany Adventures of Robin Hood. Later this year, Leonardo DiCaprio is producing a hip take on young Robin Hood starring Taron Egerton. The Wachowskis are working on a Robin Hood adaptation. Disney wants to make a Pirates of the Caribbean-esque Robin Hood movie. Sony, inevitably, has entertained the idea of creating a shared Robin Hood cinematic universe including Margot Robbie in a standalone Maid Marian film. Lets put an end to this. A 10-year ban on films about gits in forests, please, starting now.

The Joker

Jared
Jared Leto in Suicide Squad. Photograph: Warner Bros

The Joker is such an attention hog, played over and over again through the years by Heath Ledger, Mark Hamill, Jack Nicholson, Cesar Romero, Cameron Monaghan (sort of), John DiMaggio, Zach Galifianakis and if we absolutely must Jared Leto (who is set to star in his own movie soon). Joaquin Phoenixs upcoming standalone Joker movie will be make or break for the character. If even he cant get the character right, then we should all go 20 years without seeing or hearing from the Joker. Its not like Batman is exactly short of other villains to battle. Wheres the Penguin? Wheres King Tut? Where, for the love of god, is Lola Lasagnes standalone origin prequel?

Dracula

Luke
Luke Evans in Dracula Untold. Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL PICTURES/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Seven Universal movies. Nine Hammer movies. Draculas Death. Blood of Dracula. Young Dracula. Batman Dracula. Dracula and Son. Bram Stokers Dracula. Dracula 3D. Dracula 2000. Dracula 3000. This Aint Dracula XXX. Blacula. People have been making filmed Dracula adaptations for almost 100 years, and this list doesnt even scratch the surface of all the weird international silent films, spoofs, cartoons and arthouse homages that have been made about Dracula. Thats plenty, right? Apparently not, because Sherlocks Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss are reportedly in the middle of writing a Dracula series of their own. Still, its not like theyre new at flogging a dead horse, because………………..”

To see the rest of our list click here: https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2018/aug/29/jack-ryan-reboot-overused-characters-the-joker-dracula

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Someone recut the ‘Bird Box’ trailer using scenes from ‘The Office’ and it’s too perfect

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“Think The Office is all laughs and lighthearted pranks? Guess again. Drew Boatner proved the beloved NBC comedy can be creepy as hell.

Turns out with a few recuts The Office works perfectly as a Bird Box trailer. Meredith getting hit by a car, Dwight’s fire drill, and Andy punching a hole in the wall can come across as very dark with the right sound effects.

The show also got the Quiet Place treatment back in 2018, which I’m sure made John Krasinski very proud. So maybe instead of a revival fans will entertain the possibility of a Dunder Mifflin horror movie.

There was a once a Scranton Strangler, after all. Who’s to say he can’t strike again?”

Read more: https://mashable.com/video/the-office-bird-box-trailer/

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Netflix’s ‘Sex Education’ finds the humanity in awkward teen sex

Charmaine Blake

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‘Sex Education’ is all about the dirty, awkward underbelly of sexuality

Image: Jon Hall/Netflix

“The horrors of teen sex are a universal experience. And Sex Education feels like the extended therapy session we needed to work through all that buried, mortifying trauma.

At first, you might be quick to put the new Netflix series in the same category as other racy teen British shows like The Inbetweeners, Skins, or even Misfits. But while Sex Education mines in a similar brazen youthfulness, it strikes closer to home with a realism more akin to Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade.

Otis starts off as your average, introverted, loser high school “everyboy.” A virgin who’s paralyzingly uncomfortable with his own sexuality, his phobias run counter to the openness of his sex therapist mother, played perfectly by Gillian Flynn. But Otis experiences a spike in relevancy when popular bad girl Maeve capitalizes on his untapped skills as a psychologist’s son and turns him into the school’s sex guru.

But that stereotype-laden summary fails to communicate how Sex Education brilliantly subverts the assumptions made through labels like jock, mean girl, dunce, weirdo, therapist, popular, loser, gay, lesbian, slut (or slag), and virgin.

Boy meets bad girl

Image: Jon Hall/Netflix

Each character’s journey, whether a main plot or side story, is an amalgamation of quietly unexpected revelations. Sex Education knows which trope you expect to play out, and instead delivers a story about real people and the complex mess of contradictions that we are.

Sex Education knows which trope you expect to play out, and instead delivers a story about real people and the complex mess of contradictions that we are.

This largely traces back to how it uses physical intimacy as a way to explore rather than exploit its characters. Despite its title, the sex scenes are decidedly unsexy. The most graphic, like the opening scene with a guy faking an orgasm, are cringe-inducing fiascos of mundane reliability. In another, a lesbian couple tries frantically to……………………………………………………….”

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/sex-education-review-netflix/

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Welcome to ‘Blade Runner’ year, now where’s my damn replicant

Charmaine Blake

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A new life awaits you, but when?

Image: warner brothers

The confetti has been swept up, the hangovers have almost faded, and there is nothing before us now but huge swathes of 2019.

Which is, as any nerd knows, the year in which the 1982 classic Blade Runner officially took place. And whatever else may happen in this likely very insane year, it’s safe to say that we have utterly failed to live up to the future we imagined back then.

Oh, sure, we created a generalized dystopian atmosphere of despair. That part was easy; we were already well on our way to crumbling infrastructure and rising inequality in the 1980s. The fact that the movie (sort of) predicted an out-of-control climate is no big whoop either; anyone working at an oil company or paying attention to scientific literature back then knew global warming was about to be a thing.

But the Ridley Scott movie, and the Philip K. Dick short story on which it was based, both anticipated major leaps and bounds in our adventurousness and our technological prowess that compensated for the gloom.

Here was a future where most people have departed years ago for “off-world colonies.” Hence the giant blimp seen advertising a new life in them to the remaining residents of grimy Los Angeles. Not only that, but we had created lifelike artificial intelligence in the form of replicants to help build those colonies. True, that part didn’t work out too well, at least not for the victims of six dying rogue replicants who fled back to Earth. But still, pretty impressive tech there, Mr. Tyrell!

On the one hand, it’s something of a relief that we are not as smart as we liked to think. Best not to have malfunctioning robots running amuck, giving poignant yet snooty speeches about all the things they’ve seen that we wouldn’t believe. On the other hand, it would be kind of nice if somebody would go far off-world and see things so they could come back and brag like a hipster about it.

Rutger Hauer as Roy Batty: replicant, hipster, dove-lover

Image: sunset boulevard/Corbis via Getty Images

Rutger Hauer, who wrote that space fantasy death monologue himself, has never explained how attack ships off the shoulder of Orion could actually catch fire in the vacuum of space. (Maybe that’s why we wouldn’t believe it.) Nevertheless, I say we build attack ships, send them to Orion, and test his hypothesis! (Spoiler alert: We won’t be visiting Orion………………………………………………………”

Read more: https://mashable.com/article/blade-runner-2019/

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