Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift in New York in 2014, just “hanging out.”
All conspiracy theories are trash — unless you’re talking about celebrity queer relationship conspiracy theories, which are 100% good and accurate.
Or so we hope. There are so many conspiracy theories in this genre that, if proven true, would bring infinite joy to queer people worldwide. The LGBTQ community has few celebrity queer relationships they can count on for gossip — a Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell here, a RuPaul and Georges LeBar there. By and large, however, these relationships are stable. They are healthy. They are far below the requisite drama standard for gossip.
We need more.
Below are a few of the most legendary conspiracy theories about queer relationships, composed entirely by the teenage professors of Tumblr and Twitter. Theorists in this arena are known as “shippers.” It’s worth mentioning that none of these theories has yet to be proven even remotely true, and some of these actors have explicitly stated that they’re heterosexual.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. If there’s one thing we’re entitled to in this great nation of ours, it’s our baseless, purely projective, borderline offensive relationship fantasies.
Here are the very best.
1. Demi Lovato and Lauren Abedini
This is one conspiracy theory that actually has some chance of being true. Lovato broke up with her longtime boo, Wilmer Valderrama, in June 2016. Around that time, Lovato revealed that she was open to dating both men and women (!!!) because “that’s how she’s always felt.” Fast forward to a year later, when the gossip blogs captured Lovato hand-in-hand with DJ Lauren Abedini at the gayest place on earth, Disneyland. Just last week, Lovato insiders spotted this key detail:
— Demi Lovato News (@justcatchmedemi) January 9, 2018
Is there enough evidence to pronounce this conspiracy theory as fact? No, there is not. But don’t you dare let that affect your detective work on Instagram, where queer conspiracy theorists are sorely underrepresented.
2. Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss
In the conspiracy theory community, those of us who believe that Taylor Swift is secretly dating fashion model Karlie Kloss identify as Kaylor Shippers.
Most critics assume that Swift’s latest album, Reputation, is about her rumored ding dong of a boyfriend, Joe Alwyn. But those of us in the know — experts in the field, really — believe that her song “Gorgeous” is about a woman (Swift) dating a man (Alwyn) while secretly being in love with a woman (Kloss). From Jezebel’s Bobby Finger:
After 3 listens, I’ve decided “Gorgeous” is about Taylor lusting after a woman while dating a man, and feeling guilt/shame because of it.
— bobby finger (@bobbyfinger) October 20, 2017
The rumor of their affair first gained speed after a series of grainy photos, allegedly showing Kloss and Swift making out at a 1975 concert, emerged. Swift quickly shut down “Kissgate” — and, in her defense, it’s impossible to precisely identify what’s happening in the photo. Still, that didn’t stop Klossers’ from keepin’ on believin’, especially when the two aren’t afraid to express their (supposedly entirely platonic) affection on Instagram.
Happy happy birthday @taylorswift13!
Lady Gaga wins her first Oscar for ‘Shallow’
Lady Gaga won her first Oscar at the 91st Annual Academy Awards.
“Lady Gaga is an Academy Award winner, folks.
The best song of the year, “Shallow” from A Star Is Born, earned Lady Gaga an Oscar at the 91st Academy Awards on Sunday night, marking the first time the music legend has earned an Oscar. She shared the honor with co-writers Mark Daniel Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, and Andrew Wyatt.
I mean, come on, listen to this:
“I worked hard for a long time and it’s not about winning, but what’s about is not giving up,” Lady Gaga said in her acceptance speech. “If you have a dream, fight for it.”
Lady Gaga is also up for the Oscar for Best Actress for her performance in A Star Is Born, the first person to ever be nominated for both awards on the same night. Earlier in February, Lady Gaga was nominated for four Grammys for the song “Shallow” and won two.
A Star Is Born was up for eight awards in total at the Oscars, and the award for Best Original Song was the film’s first of the night.
Lady Gaga received her first and only other Oscar nomination in 2016 for the song, “Til It Happens to You,” for the documentary The Hunting Ground.”
Bradley Cooper shares how he altered his voice for ‘A Star Is Born’
“Of all the enchanting things about A Star is Born, one of the most mesmerising has to be Bradley Cooper’s distinctly low voice that he manages to maintain throughout the movie.
Well, Cooper let Stephen Colbert in on his secret for how he trained his voice to plummet to new vocal depths. Turns out he drew inspiration from his co-star Sam Elliott.
“One of the things, I knew I wanted to lower my voice. But I didn’t want to make him too country,” said Cooper. “Sam Elliott is from Sacramento but his mother was from Texas, so he has this accent that you can’t quite place. But it’s so wonderfully iconic.”
Cooper says in order to achieve the Elliott-esque low voice, he’d do a warmup using a tagline. But for the first six months, he could only do it while hunched over.
“I would go to sleep and my throat would hurt and I thought, well this is never gonna happen. That was what I was most terrified of, was his voice,” Cooper said. “I always had this warmup line which was a line from an interview [Elliott] did at Sundance which I played him when he came over to my house.”
Cooper performed his warmup in the video above using the tagline: “this part here is about as good as it gets for me”.
Goodness me, someone give that man an Oscar.”
What happened when M. Night Shyamalan told his dad he got into film school
“M. Night Shyamalan’s dad is so proud of his son these days that he apparently pays for everything — even gum — with a credit card — just so people will see his last name.
But it wasn’t always that way. Back when a young M. Night Shyamalan first broke the news of his showbiz career plans to his family — who are all doctors — his father wasn’t exactly impressed.
“My dad was watching a hockey game and I said, ‘Dad I applied to NYU film school, I got in as a scholarship, and I’m gonna go’, and he didn’t even look at me,” Shyamalan tells Stephen Colbert in the clip above. “He just kept watching the game.”
Still, at least it all worked out in the end.”
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